Just when I am tearing my hair out over straight lines, making things seem antique, wobbly hands and dubious eyesight, I accidentally click on this post by Brennen Reece. That may not be surprising, I did have other related links open. But it happened directly after my loss of confidence in my ability to produce what others want in my art-making, and a conversation about decision-making. In line with my "nothing is a coincidence" theory, I need to contemplate what this post meant for me.
In the last two days I have made a few more decisions about "what I am not" rather than what I am. I have also reminded myself of the things I treasure in life. I have moved from agonising over what I "should" be doing, to accepting that maybe I am doing what is best for this moment. (I do remember banning the words "should" and "must" from my vocabulary).
But getting back to the Mona Lisa and my son-in-law's lesson. This post reminds me of the things I used to know, and have long forgotten. The older I get the more I want things to be simple. I have a huge respect for people who retain knowledge, and more importantly use it and share it, but I seem to have lost all curiousity and the need to obtain and retain knowledge. I don't ask the questions I might have once asked. I don't seek to be a tourist and discover new things. The time is not right for me.
I don't think I am a teacher any more. Does it matter if I am unsure of my role in life?
Today I am grateful for the diversity of people in this world.
A New Season Begins – March 2024
8 months ago
2 comments:
Two most essential and important elements of life:
breathe.
exist.
The rest is all follow-up, you know. ;)
When I "teach" it is nothing more than a tsunami of curiosity and passion that I can't restrain when someone is willing to listen to what I have to say.
You've stripped the two wrong words from your vocabulary. You should have gotten rid of "shouldn't" and "mustn't" instead. If you focus on what you should and must do, you will find that you just get on with it.
When you are busy creating you have no time for depression, no time for self doubt. Do you remember how depressed I was when you arrived last time? And do you remember how drastically my personality changed when I spent a week drawing and making sketchbooks? This is why.
There is so much magic, so much mystery, and so much secret knowledge in the world. The funny thing about secret knowledge is that it's usually within easy reach in an average library. That's why it is hidden. People aren't willing to to work hard to look for things. They aren't willing to admit that they don't know the best way to do something and that there are better ways hidden out there.
When Buddha was asked what the greatest obstacle to enlightenment is, he replied, "laziness."
When you stop learning, you stop changing. If you are happy with your art, then you are lying to yourself, and it's a short trip from there to giving up. You have to remain curious. You have to remain a seeker, or all is lost.
The itching, empty feeling. The self-doubt and regret. Stagnation. I think of these as "The Devil." He doesn't want artists, musicians and writers because we uncover the truth and beauty where priests refuse to and philosophers cannot. Are you really going to let him win?
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