9 August 2011

i should be asleep but

I have banished the word "should" from my vocabulary. Instead of sleeping I have been reading back over old blog entries.

This evening I came home to find a comment from a new "follower" who had discovered this blog. I hope she enjoys the mixture of posts. Occasionally I find a new blog and read it from start to finish, even if it takes me a while. A blog can be far more rewarding than a book. I wondered what it was that the artist liked about this one. Is there enough about art in it for her?

Looking back, I find that the art entries are few and the personal rantings are many. For me, it was like reading a diary, because I know what is "between the lines" in these posts. Often a post is a memory "in disguise". Sometimes they are simply to reassure myself that I am me. Talking to myself? Yes, that's what my blog is.

Sometimes I post veiled messages that only one or two people will understand fully, but hopefully most readers will get something from the words. I'm not brave enough or bold enough to publish everything! This is a very public blog. Occasionally I get a message from someone who has tracked down my email address to write more. Bloggers don't know who they touch, and those who touch us often have no idea how important their words are. I've noticed that I am seeking a different kind of material to read these days. I need to feel more connected with like-minded people. Perhaps that is what blogging is about.

I was going to write quite a personal post tonight, but when I began to type it simply didn't flow through my fingers. Perhaps the time is not right. Instead, I enjoyed reading backwards through my blog. For that reason alone it is worth giving in to the time-consuming and addictive ritual of blogging. Thank you, The Artist in Me, for prompting this walk down memory lane.

So, tonight, I have rambled on about nothing in particular, and I make no apology. It helps me to feel anchored.

Buonanotte a tutti.

Today I am grateful for challenges that extend me.


The Artist In Me said...


For sure there is enough art in here for me. For someone who is creative, art is found in everything! And I find your openness and honesty about what happens throughout your day is interesting.

I journal almost daily, and I am sure that makes my blog a little more personal. I am an artist, and my blog is about my art, but artwork comes from life, people watching, what I am going through, what others are or may be going through, my imagination, my dreams...etc.

I once had a friend tell me that people were looking to see my art and not so much read what I had to say. I tried that for a while, but found it to be so worthless. My art (although I believe it could stand on its own) is nothing without the voice behind why it was or is created!

So...keep on writing about whatever fancies you! You already have a fan here!!!

Teacake said...

You shouldn't say should...?


Not cheekiness, not criticism, but a genuine question: does changing your vocabulary really deal with any underlying issue, such as (for example) a too-strong sense of obligation?

Genuine question.

Kay said...

Teacake, yes, I think that changing your vocabulary and way of speaking about something can make a real difference. It's a bit like the quote that I have taken from you, "Is it in your dreams or in your diary?"

Another example might be changing from "I have so much to do I don't know where to start" (feeling of helplessness and not able to see the end) to "I've made a priority list and the most urgent thing to do is..." (feeling of some control and having an action plan).

We can "re-story" ourselves, but it takes time. When we are tired or run down old habits creep back in.

I do believe that we are able to choose our attitudes, and that it is a good thing to tell ourselves that we are making choices each day, the very first one being our attitude to the day before we even get out of bed.

Thanks for the question...

Kay said...

And a simple trick... it must be to do with our chemical make-up I think, but on a day when I feel down I force myself to smile into the mirror. No matter how forced and terrible the first couple of smile attempts are, by the time I can smile quite naturally I am feeling so much better. (Is it the wiring of muscles to the brain and can we produce our own essential chemicals by using our muscles? ) Some women put on make-up to feel better; I prefer to wear a smile.