today

Today is one of those days when you look back and reflect a little on your life so far. I think the important words are "so far". You look back not to try to change anything, but to enjoy, to learn from, to move on.

Good news sometimes makes me cry. Today's entry on the chriswillwalk blog tells of his progress, his movement to rehab, all positive news. I am unashamedly crying for people I have never met.

Through a facebook photo tag I saw a young woman happily exploring at her first painting class. She looks so happy, so pleased with her day, that I am sure she will paint for the rest of her life. It reminded me of a comment someone made to me 31 years ago. I was at a class with Heinz Boenke and an elderly lady said to me "I envy you dear, you have the rest of your life to paint. I left starting too late". Other duties and parts of my life took over, and I didn't paint much for the next 20 years. I don't think it is possible to make up for lost time, so instead I draw on the life experiences in that non-painting time and use it for subject matter in my work.

I am very tired. Not because I am a year older, but because I have not got things in balance in my life. Sleep and relaxation are not high enough on my priority list. My eyes are tired from weeks of intense concentration, colour matching, and dust, and possibly from too much computer. My body is tired from too much standing in the heat, and pulling myself up and down ladders without taking time to stretch my muscles or go for walks. How can I be of any use to anyone if I am not in good form myself? Today I begin to exercise again, and take care of myself a little better.

Today I am grateful for the angels, seen and unseen, who come into my life.