twenty years

When I was in the process of moving to Italy many friends said "it will be interesting to see what that does to your art". It has been interesting, but more than that, it has been challenging, frustrating, and painful.

When you relocate into a different culture you lose your identity in some ways. I remember writing that I would work most of all to retain/regain my independence and my "kiwi can do" attitude. I wrote that I believed a drive to communicate would be the most essential part of my "self" that would identify me.

I have immersed myself in a place where time has stood still. What happened was that in my search for acceptance, and to be financially independent, I have painted what was expected of me here, locally.

It was a form of communicating. In my art-making I went backwards to where I was twenty years ago, but in an unfamiliar environment, climate and without the luxury of a comfortable studio. I struggled with all of that. But now that it is clear to me why it happened I can move on again.

I believe that, at least in my thinking, I am back to the point I was at five years ago. There is a fundamental difference though.

This time, on good days, I feel twenty years younger. Sometimes going back twenty years is a good thing.
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