new beginnings

2011 is shaping up to be a year of big changes. Members of my family are moving countries, starting new jobs, facing new challenges.

I am at a crossroad wondering which path to take... the one less travelled has greater challenges, and maybe that is the direction I shall head.

A series of unrelated but life-changing events over the past few weeks has me going back to review my core values, my decision making and my attitude to life hour by hour.

On my computer is research information that is exciting for true historians. I find it interesting, but not so exciting. I enjoy contemplating events that shape us as people, but for the purpose of understanding the end result, not for the history itself. I think I am more a sociologist than an ethnologist, humanitarian more than reformer, and historically have been more pacifist than activist.

Pause.

Think.

Perhaps it is time to have a voice, to be more active, to stand up and be counted.

Takes a deep breath, looks at life through the chink of an opening door, and says to herself (not quite believing it yet) "Go on, you can do it!"

Today I am grateful for the people who believe in me.

the air that i breathe

There was a lot of traffic in Bethlehem tonight. No, not camels. Painted house buses and fancy cars, lots of folk on foot... all to hear the Hollies in concert at Mills Reef Winery.

The weather was blustery but the rain had gone. I was happy to listen from the comfort of home, although the music did pull me to the window several times.

The Hollies may not have had too many hits in their day, but there were some goodies floating over the road and up to the window. "All I Need is the Air that I Breathe", "Bus Stop", and many other toe-tapping tunes. I would love to put them here for you, links to Youtube, but I am on limited internet so you will just have to find them all yourself. (Now linked, thanks Sarah!)

Today I am grateful for dancing music.

what makes an identity?

Occasionally I am pulled up and reminded that I am a New Zealander through and through. Yesterday two waiata had me softly singing along, appreciating every gentle note. Today a powerful haka reminded me that the haka is so much more than an opener for a sports match.

Driving the roads and admiring the scenery doesn't do it for me. I am a tourist in my own land, wrestling with memories and missing my Italian home. I enjoy the music of the Italian anthem, and of course the wonderful opera and other concerts make me grateful that I am there.

I appreciate my interesting and challenging life, but will never be really Italian. In New Zealand I'll always be a pakeha New Zealander, but Maori music and dance in an emotion-charged setting stirs me right to my core.

Today I am grateful for my cultural heritage.

time out

Occasionally it is good to just stop, and look at some of the things that inspire you. One such is the watercolours of the late Andrew Wyeth. I don't have time to paint myself right now, but I can feed on the images that I admire.

Here is one such image, simple, powerful and so beautifully executed with a limited palette.

An artist's blog took me to more images that enthrall.

I am torn between writing and painting, and each must wait its turn. For now curating the two new exhibitions and writing the Legato blog take precedence, and then it will be time to paint again.

Today I am grateful for vivid imaginations in creative people.

beautiful sunday

It's been "one out of the box"... one of several in fact. Glorious days that feel like spring, but appreciated all the more because winter still could well have a sting in its tail. This afternoon a beautiful moon hovered over the rocky hill face where the rock climbers were out in huge numbers. (How do I get photos from cell phone to computer?)

There is still more to do than hours to do it in, but I am getting better at cutting things off the list and appreciating each day for what it is.

I am really wanting to write, to get lost in words, to create. It is time, but there is no real time until a few more things are sorted. For now my head must remain the creative playground while my hands do other work.

I saw on facebook a comment about someone being bored. I don't think I have ever been bored in my life. How lucky am I to have such a mix of peaceful contentment and exciting challenges.

Today I am grateful for having wonderful things to do.

to sleep or wait...

The tall one is competing in Challenge Wanaka. It's hard to stop being a mother sometimes. Ah well, it looks like a night for haunting the computer, maybe I'll catch up on some chores between race updates. Or doze off curled up in a blanket to keep warm, more likely!

Today I am grateful for my healthy family.

between skype and emails

I barely seem to have left the computer!

Thank goodness for skype; not only for calling my family, seeing my beautiful grandchildren as they grow and learn, and staying in touch with friends, but in these recent days also for talking to people in NZ arranging the next exhibition. Gmail videochat picks up where Skype isn't an option, and I marvel at how, the time of day not withstanding, I am able to keep in touch and work towards goals for projects which are quite literally on the other side of the world!

I have just noticed, on my exercise beat between the computer and the kettle, that Zacchi is stretched out in a sunbeam, head turned to the house, hoping against hope that I will take the rubbish out soon and walk him at least as far as the skip bins. It's that kind of day; it really does feel like spring, even though logic says there will be another cold snap just around the corner.

The birds are chirping so happily, a full chorus of them, dogs are yapping in the distance, and everything else is calm. The sun reaches well into the kitchen, and it is truly a delightful feeling of peace... uh oh, as I wrote that someone started up a chainsaw, but seemingly changed their mind about using it. It is siesta time, after all.

Yes, winter is still with us. But the day has that lovely crisp feeling that I tend to associate with autumn rugby fields - I can't believe I just wrote that, here in my Italian village! But you know what I mean, I am sure, those days when the sun is wonderful but not at full force, the air is crisp, and it is a pleasure to be alive, out in it, boots on to keep warm but face exposed to the elements.

Today I am grateful for a feeling of tranquility and peace.